Nicholas with his 2nd Grade Teacher Ms. McKinley
Do you remember that amazing feeling of the last day of school? I do. Very clearly.
I can’t necessarily remember specifics of where I went or what I did, but I clearly remember the feeling. The over-the-top excitement. That feeling of being so excited you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs. That feeling of being “free”. Knowing you could do (almost) anything you wanted for the next few months.
Today was Nicholas’ last day of 2nd grade, but instead of that feeling of euphoria, there’s mostly sadness around our house.
For me as his mom the reasons are fairly obvious and I’m sure shared by many moms at this time of year. My eyes welled up at his class awards when his teacher showed pictures from throughout the year. Part of it was just sadness and amazement at how quickly he’s growing up. Even now I get choked up thinking about it.
Part of it was also seeing the things he’s done in the last year that I wasn’t a part of. It felt strange. Like I missed out on really important moments by not being a bigger part of his classroom environment. I love my job and find fulfillment I can’t always get at home, but I do sometimes long to just be “mom”. To volunteer in Nicholas’ classroom and to take Emily to toddler classes and playdates. I can’t imagine giving up my work, but I do sometimes long for more time at home. Especially at times like this when something forces me to think about how quickly my kids are growing up.
As an 8 year old little boy with a summer full of camps and field trips, you’d think Nicholas would be ecstatic about summer. Not so, for my little guy. It was the same way at the end of 1st grade.
Why? Because he misses his teachers terribly. See, my Nicholas gets very attached to people. In particular, he gets very attached to the women in his life. Over 2 years ago he had to see a physical therapist for a little while – about 6 weeks if I remember correctly. Still to this day, when we drive near her office, he asks if we can go see her. He’s always been this way which is why the end of the school year is always difficult for him. When we begin to approach the last week of school he gets more and more quiet and sullen.
It hurts my heart to think about this time next year when we will once again go through this while he mourns yet another teacher that has come and gone. Technically, these teachers aren’t really going anywhere and they always say to come back and say hello, but ultimately they move on. There are 20 more kids for them to worry about so they really have no choice. But when Nicholas drops in to say hello and he’s so excited that he’s bouncing around like a Mexican jumping bean, it’s hard to not see his enthusiasm returned.
Each of these teachers hold a special place in his heart that they will never truly understand.
