Archive | Personal RSS feed for this section

Everything Happens For a Reason – Part 2

1 Jul

There have been two events that have completely changed the course of my life. I believe, for the better. If you’d like to read about the first event than jump over to my last blog post – Everything Happens for a Reason.

The second event was when – suprise! – I got pregnant with my son. I was 24 and single so it wasn’t exactly in the plans.

For about the first 18 months I was with Ivie I flew back and forth between Dallas and Phoenix almost every week. Eventually the associate we had in Phoenix moved on to another company so I offered to move “permanently” to fill the hole that was left. I was there about 4 months when I found out about my little bundle of joy.

It’s hard to say anything negative about how or why it happened since it resulted in my sweet Nicholas. Let’s just say that Phoenix brought out a different side of me. I’d pretty much always been known as a “good” girl. I never experimented with drugs. I drank very little. I never snuck out of the house.  I did what I was supposed to do. What was expected.

Boy, were my family and friends in for the shock of their lives!

Apparently I thought I was entitled to a “wild” period in my life. For some people this wild time is during high school or college. For me, it was a brief 4 months that ended with a drug store pregnancy test and a sobbing phone call to my parents.

I was a mess.

I spent the first couple of weeks trying to determine exactly what I was going to do. The relationship with his biological father was never a serious one. As a matter of fact, by the time I found out I was pregnant with Nicholas, we’d already stopped seeing each other.

It didn’t take long to determine there was really only one option for me. I wasn’t a teenager. I was an adult woman with a good job, a strong career, and an incredibly supportive family, so I put in a request to transfer back to Dallas and started planning my second move in less than a year.

It was only a few weeks later when 9/11 took place. Wow! I was already emotional and overwhelmed by the direction my life had taken. The tragedy of 9/11 both put things into perspective and terrified me all at the same time. I just kept wondering what kind of world I would be bringing this baby into.

Eight years later our country is unfortunately still at war, but that sweet  baby boy has grown into an amazing little 3rd grader. He’s incredibly smart and polite, has the most amazing imagination and is THE best big brother to his sister Emily.

I can’t predict where life would have taken me had I not gotten pregnant with Nicholas. I may not have gotten that great promotion that provided my first management role. I wouldn’t have been here to welcome my niece into the world and be so involved in the first year of her life. I may not have met the man who would eventually become my husband.

Everything happens for a reason.

Everything Happens for A Reason

26 Jun

fate, destinyI am a big believer in the phrase, “Everything happens for a reason.”

I don’t spend a lot of time planning exactly where I want to be a year or 5 years or 10 years from now. I’m not a big fan of drastic change, so I mostly go with the flow. I try to be a good mom, a good wife, a good employee, and a good person. I hope that by doing the best I can in each of these roles that life will continue to be good to me and, for the most part, it has.

There have been very few bumps in the road for me, but there are two events that drastically changed the course of my life. Events that, at the time, I thought were devastating. In hindsight, it’s all about perspective but in your mid-20s, perspective can sometimes be difficult to attain.

The first event occurred shortly after I graduated from college. At the time, I’d been in a relationship with the same person for more than 3 years and truly believed we would eventually get married. He’d graduated 2 years before me and was living and working in Minneapolis, so naturally, I packed up all my belongings (a ridiculous amount of stuff for a new college grad) and headed to Minneapolis to be with him.

I found an apartment, a roommate, and a job pretty quickly and had just started to settle in when he broke up with me. I was shocked and crushed. Ultimately, what I felt was more fear of being alone than it was upset at the end of the relationship, but at the time I couldn’t distinguish those feelings of fear and loneliness from my feelings of shock and hurt.

I know what you’re thinking. Just another breakup story, right? But here’s the interesting part.

I’d been struggling to find a marketing job in Minneapolis so took a job as the manager in a retail store to make ends meet. Within a week of our breakup, my parents got a call from a small marketing firm in Texas who wanted to interview me for an open position. Since I wasn’t sure where I’d be living after graduation I’d used their address and phone number on my resume. Within a week of that phone call I flew down to Texas for an interview and within a month I had moved to Texas and started my new job.

That job was with Ivie who I am still working for more than 10 years later.

The years immediately following that breakup were incredible. My first “real” job, my first apartment and my first new car. It was also the first time since junior high that I’d been single for more than a few months. For me, it was therapeutic. I needed that time to figure out who I was without someone else in my life.

I will never know what life would have been like if that breakup hadn’t occurred exactly when it did. I can guarantee only one thing…that I wouldn’t have taken that interview with Ivie. An interview that has, along with other key events in my life, led me to where I am today.

About 3 years after I moved to Texas there was another HUGE event in my life that, once again, permanently changed my trajectory, but this post is long enough so you’ll have to wait for the next post to hear that story.

Photo Courtesy of Léoo.

Why My Husband Rocks

20 Jun

I came home from my run tonight and within 5 minutes my husband was serving me seared yellowfin tuna with salad. Really?! Whose husband does that?

Last night it was pesto pasta with the most amazing grilled shrimp. Last week it was a perfectly cooked medium rare fillet. He cooks like this all the time.

It hit me tonight how unusual this is and it got me thinking about all of the amazing things he does for us. So, in honor of Father’s Day, I decided to make a list of just a few of those things. Here goes…

  • He gives me time to myself. To go shopping. To run errands. To attend professional events. Some husbands look at it as “babysitting” even though they’re their own kids. He doesn’t.
  • As noted above. He cooks. He is THE cook in our house. I’m not talking about burgers or grilled chicken. I’m talking about gourmet turkey burgers, paella, and amazing grilled chicken alfredo pizzas.
  • He puts up with my crazy temper.
  • The other day I came in the house and he was teaching himself how to play Sesame Street on his guitar because our baby girl LOVES Sesame Street.
  • He takes our son Nicholas to all of the kid’s movies. I hate going to see kid’s movies.
  • He squeegees the shower door even though its incredibly anal retentive of me.
  • He hugs me all the time. I’m usually running around non-stop when we’re home. Every once in a while he just grabs me and forces me to slow down for a second. I really love that our kids get to see that.
  • He puts up with my need to have the ceiling fan on the highest possible setting when we sleep.
  • He makes up funny songs that our kids end up repeating over and over.
  • He’s as obsessed with gadgets as I am, so he understands why I need every new Apple product that comes out.
  • He doesn’t mind that I sit up reading or writing (like right now) long after he’s gone to sleep.
  • He gives me the 40 minutes I need to go for a run most days.
  • When Nicholas hits a tough spot in his video games he always steps in and helps him.
  • He started working out and dieting recently and has lost 20 lbs in the process. He motivated me to get moving and change my eating habits. Side Note: I have lost 2 lbs for his 20 lbs. I’m working on that.

Now it’s your turn. Why does your husband rock?

Image Courtesy of TomonToast.

You’re Not Pulling Your Weight

16 Jun

Dear Body,

We need to talk.

I’ve been working hard and you’re not pulling your weight in this partnership.

I’m not perfect when it comes to food choices, but I’m certainly eating MUCH better than I used to. I’m paying more attention to the calories I give you and watching our portion sizes.

Even more importantly, I’m exercising your a** off. 5 nights a week! 6 weeks ago we could barely run 2 blocks. The last 3 nights in a row we’ve run 2.25 miles. Wow! That’s awesome and I so appreciate you cooperating with me during those runs. Really I do. But I need you to give more. Actually, what I should say is that I need you to give UP more.

2 lbs. That’s all you’ve given up when according to this fancy application I’ve been using, we’ve exercised for more than 9 HOURS over the last 6 weeks. That’s serious and much more commitment than I’ve ever made to a running routine.

I’m not asking for a lot. 8-10 lbs. would be fantastic. I’ll even take 5. Just tell me what I need to do.

If you don’t respond soon I will be forced to resort to Weight Watchers again and I really don’t want to do that.

With love,

Becky

Photo courtesy of cquarles.

Eat, Love, PRAY

2 Jun

As I mentioned in a previous post, my blog writing was recently re-ignited by a book I read called Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Ironically, just this past week Julie Roads, a woman whose blog I’ve been following over the last 18 months, wrote her own thoughts on the book. Actually, to be specific, she wrote about one section of the book. She and several of her friends divided the book up between them – one wrote about Eat, one about Pray, and one about Love. And for good measure, they added their own section – Drink. It just so happens that Julie wrote about Pray – the section of the book that frustrated me the most, but also got me thinking the most.

In this section of the book, the author goes to India where she spends 3 months at an ashram praying and meditating. 3 months in the middle of nowhere trying to find something bigger than yourself? I’m skeptical. It reminds of me of when I was in college and people would say they needed to “go find themselves.” If you haven’t figured out who you are, you’re unlikely to find it by walking away from your life. In the case of the author, it ultimately worked out for her. She made peace with her divorce, created balance in her life and eventually found a man. What more could you ask for?

For the average person though, can you really walk away from your life to “find” something and expect to hang on to that once you return to “normal”? That’s exactly what Julie’s post is about. She’s spent time in a place similar to the ashram the author visited but found she couldn’t hang on to that feeling once she returned to normal life. She has, however, found that connection in her writing.  That’s really the point of her post. Everyone finds that connection, that peace, that feeling of something bigger than themselves in different places and different ways.

That’s part of what this exploration process is about for me. Trying out new things and new approaches to strike a better balance and find something to connect with beyond work and family. I love my family, but sometimes I need more than that. A hobby in a sense. Something to clear my head so when I’m at work and at home I can concentrate better on what’s right in front of me.

Anyone else ever feel that way?

Side note: I’m working on transitioning my blog to a self-hosted site so hang in there with me. I’m not sure exactly how this is going to work out. Well, let’s be honest, I’m really not sure what I’m doing but I intend to figure it out. :)

Photo: Courtesy of kalandrakas, http://www.flickr.com/photos/eelssej_/508977152/

So Far, So Good

26 May

I am currently on day 2 of a 4-day cleanse diet. It’s supposed to be the initial days of an ongoing diet plan called Flat Belly Diet, but I still haven’t decided if I’m going to stick with it long term. It’s a little high maintenance for me, and with Chris trying to cut back on carbs the two diet plans don’t really mesh. I’m considering re-starting with Weight Watchers again, but the jury’s still out.

Either way, it has certainly been enlightening for me and is a great way to change your frame of mind and kick start an ongoing plan for eating better.

First and foremost, I thought I was going to starve. I truly didn’t think there was any way it would be enough calories for me in a day. Especially with the exercise I’ve been doing every night. I was SO wrong. It has been just enough at each meal that I feel full and am fine until the next meal.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. I love eating breakfast before I leave the house. It means I get to eat breakfast with Nicholas. He asked yesterday how long I would be on my “special diet” and when I told him only 4 days he seemed disappointed. We may have to keep this part.
  2. Variety IS the spice of breakfast. I typically just eat a bagel thin with light cream cheese but it’s kind of nice to have a couple of different items. Yesterday it was cornflakes with skim milk, a little unsweetened apple sauce and some sunflower seeds. Not bad.
  3. 1 cup of cereal is really not as little as it sounds like. The key is putting it in a smaller bowl so it looks like more.
  4. The ratio of milk to cereal should not be 1:1. 1 cup of milk is too much for only 1 cup of cereal.
  5. Carrots can be steamed in a microwave and they are delicious that way!
  6. I like tomatoes, but 1 pint of grape tomatoes is a lot.
  7. Water is delicious when it sits overnight with lemon, cucumber and mint leaves in it.
  8. If you need to go on this diet make sure you have a husband like mine who is supportive AND is a good cook. I had to eat roasted potatoes and grilled tilapia for dinner last night. Sounds easy enough, but I barely know how to turn the grill on, let alone actually cook anything on it.
  9. Eating at the office isn’t so bad. I’ve always avoided it because I prefer to get away for the hour, but it was kind of nice today.

Here are my obstacles:

  1. Some of the food is terribly boring.
  2. It takes FOREVER to prepare each evening for the next day’s meals.
  3. How the heck am I supposed to have a smoothie every day at 3:30? We have a smoothie machine at home, but I’m not about to drag that into the office. I tried to make it at home and then refrigerate it until it was time to drink it, but then it tasted terrible. Yesterday I literally plugged my nose and gulped it down like I was drinking cough medicine. It was that bad.

Chris asked me yesterday if I was going to eat pizza this weekend. Honestly, at this point, even a nice Subway sandwich sounds like a feast.

Photo: Courtesy of laurenatclemson, http://www.flickr.com/photos/laurenmanning/2412889151/

One of Those Days

24 May

Today was one of those days. Do you ever have those days? Those days that are just good?

It started out with an amazing visit to tour a local community service organization. I’m looking forward to spending some time volunteering there soon.

Then I got to have lunch with 2 co-workers – one who I’ve know for years but who I don’t often have lunch with, and the other is someone I’ve always liked but don’t spend much time with.

After lunch I accomplished 2 big items on my work to-do list. w00t!

This afternoon when I picked Nicholas up at school he was SO excited. He’d gotten 30 “McKinley dollars” because he earned 100% on 3 different class papers. They earn McKinley dollars when they do good things in class. AND one of his buddies gave him a baseball. Not just any baseball, but 1 of only 3 he had to give to his friends since his baseball team won a tournament.

When Chris got home Nicholas and I went out for a jog/bike ride together. It’s nice that he’s finally big enough to ride with me. Although next time we skip the bike path. It was a little too hilly for his little legs and I had to push him an awful lot. On the plus side, it made for an even better workout.

Then…I get home to find Emily in a GREAT mood having just eaten a dinner made up of ALL fruit – that’s what happens when daddy’s left to feed her. Fruit and cheese. I’m starting a 4-day cleanse tomorrow so I spent about a half hour getting everything ready for tomorrow and look over to see Emily, Nicholas and Chris all curled up together on the couch. We let the kids stay up a half hour later just because they were both so content.

So now I’m curled up on the couch writing this post and catching up on some TV with my husband, reflecting on such a great day.

One of those days.

Side note…I’m forewarning you now that there will be very little food over the next 4 days so the posts will be much less upbeat.

My Eye Opening Experience

24 May

I visited a local organization today that supports the community in several key ways. I shared my experience on our company’s community service blog, but wanted to share it here as well.

eye

Photo: Courtesy of helgabj, www.flickr.com/photos/helgabj/1074000287/

I helped to start the Ivie community service program almost 3 years ago now and have had the pleasure of being heavily involved ever since. Lately, I’ve found myself feeling disconnected from our efforts. Often we are raising money without actively being involved with the organization and the people (or animals) our donations are helping. Although, I fully realize that money is what these organizations often need the most, I also think it’s important for people to connect with the organizations they support so they truly understand the needs of others.

Today I had the pleasure of touring a local organization called Christian Community Action (CCA). CCA supports 8 school districts throughout the county our main offices reside in. I’ve been familiar with CCA since I first moved to Texas 10 years ago. They are the place we ALWAYS take our donations to – much like Goodwill. What I learned today was truly eye opening though. They are so much more than that donation station I drop by a couple of times a year.

First of all, CCA provides not only a re-sale store but also food, shelter, education, training and spiritual guidance for families throughout the area we live in. We live in a nice area. Flower Mound is generally considered a town of mid to high income residents, but what we don’t realize is the impact the economy has had on those who live right around us. This has created a tremendous need for the services that CCA provides. A need they are struggling to keep up with.

The woman who gave us the tour today mentioned that it is no longer predominantly the working poor who need their services, but people like us who have been affected by the bad economy over the last couple of years. People with college diplomas and MBAs and solid work experience. People who’d managed to build their lives into what would be considered the “American dream.”

Our friends, family and neighbors have lost their jobs and are desperately trying to hang on to their homes despite having lost everything else. CCA helps these people to pay their bills, to feed their families and to receive medical care. Plus, provides education and training to help people become self-sufficient again. They provide supplies for kids to go back to school, toys for their parents to put under the tree at Christmas, and during the summer they even provide lunches for kids who might otherwise not eat.

And they do all of this with only the money from their re-sale stores and donations from people like us, plus the tremendous hours that countless volunteers are putting in.

I try to remind myself often of how lucky I am to have what I do and try not to take it for granted. But walking through that lobby with my designer bag on my shoulder was like a punch in the gut. Especially after hearing that $25 feeds a family of four for a month!

At Ivie, we are busy making plans for how we can help CCA both through donations as well as volunteering. Personally, I’m also looking for an opportunity to take my 8 year old son to volunteer with them as well. Much like me, he does charity fundraisers at school, but ultimately he has no idea what that means or where the money is going. I’m hoping we can remedy that.

What can you do to make a bigger impact on the lives of those in need?

Progress!

20 May progress sign
progress sign

Photo by Blumpy - http://www.flickr.com/photos/blumpy/325853852/

So MANY things I’ve come across in the last couple of days have underlined the goals I’ve set for myself over the last week – writing, organizing, moving and focusing.

So here’s how I’ve done so far this week:

  1. I haven’t done as well with writing as I’d hoped, but I have posted 3 times. If I can get 1 more in before Saturday I’ll be happy. My goal next week is to write more often. Not necessarily post more often, but at least sit down and write to start getting into a good habit.
  2. I made my list for de-cluttering this weekend. I’ve set it up as the screensaver on my iPad so it stares me in the face every time I turn my iPad on – that’s a lot by the way. I’ll be happy if I can get through half the list this weekend and then I’ll tackle the other half next weekend.
  3. I’ve gone for a run/walk 5 of the last 6 days. I downloaded this fantastic application called Interval Run on my phone that has a program called Couch to 5k. It’s taking me through a series of interval training sessions and I love it. I’ve decided that if I make it to the 1 month mark on this program I’m going to buy myself a new pair of running shoes. That will be my reward for running for a longer period than I EVER have in my life.
  4. I have been slightly more conscious of my bad habit of multitasking and have tried to focus on one thing at a time. It’s worked well at home but not so much at work. Although ironically, I’m writing this post as I watch the season finale of Grey’s Anatomy. Which, by the way, is COMPLETELY stressing me out!

Speaking of multitasking, if you are a multitasker yourself, I highly recommend you read How (and Why) to Stop Multitasking. Ultimately, performing multiple tasks at the same time isn’t helping you to accomplish more. Just the opposite, studies show it can make you up to 40% LESS effective.

So here’s to focusing on one thing at a time as we end this CRAZY week and enter another weekend. One that will hopefully bring me a slightly less cluttered home AND focused time with my family.

Fresh Air

17 May
lego, mess, clutter

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9516941@N08/ / CC BY 2.0

I cleaned my office last Friday and walking in today was like a breath of fresh air.

Than this morning I read a post called The Need for Getting Back to the Basics and I could really relate to what she was saying. She has 3 children under the age of 3 and the youngest is only a couple of months old. Between lack of sleep, a messy house and extra baby weight, she’s feeling overwhelmed. Her life feels cluttered.

Now, I don’t lack sleep and I only have 1 child under the age of 3, but I do have extra baby weight (yes, STILL) and a messy house. Both are contributing to my life (and therefore my head) feeling cluttered lately. That “breath of fresh air” I felt walking into my office this morning is a feeling I want all the time. I would even compromise for “some” of the time.

So here’s the plan:

  1. Get my rear in gear.
  2. De-clutter the house.

This past weekend I had a sudden urge to go for a jog. I’m not much of a runner. Well, let’s be honest, I’m not much for working out at all. I have a habit of jumping in and then petering out pretty quickly. I’m hoping the goal of running a 5k will help to keep me motivated this time. That and the fact that I bought some shorts I really like and would love to be comfortable enough with my legs to actually wear them. Sadly, it’s been years since I’ve worn a pair of shorts outside of working out. So that takes care of goal #1. Now on to goal #2.

We haven’t been in our house for long – we moved in just before Thanksgiving last year. It’s quite a bit bigger than our last house so it’s much more of a chore to keep clean and neat. And really it’s not the “clean” part that bothers me as much as the “neat.” There’s a distinct difference between clean and neat.

When I walk into my home, I feel overwhelmed. All I see is the mess, which is sad since it’s a GREAT house. For us, it was love at first sight. It’s perfect for our family, but with a 1 year old who tears through toys like a tornado and an 8 year old who lives, eats and breathes Lego’s, it’s nearly impossible to keep neat.

I WANT to be that Mom who can just let it go. Let the kids (and my husband) do what they’re going to do. It just means the house is lived in, right?

WRONG! I can’t do it. It’s just not me.

And it’s not just my husband and kids making the mess. It’s me too. I get the mail each day. Open it, throw out the junk and put the “real” stuff in a pile in the kitchen or the office. Guess what? The pile in the office has gotten really ugly. We don’t spend anytime in there so out of sight, out of mind. Unfortunately, I don’t work that way. I see that pile in my head every time I walk in the door.

Oh, and let’s not forget about the birthday decorations still hanging from my son’s birthday almost a month ago now. And those definitely are NOT out of sight, out of mind. They are hanging in all their glory just above the dining room table that is covered in Lego’s.

So, add these new goals to my existing goal and here’s what we’ve got:

  1. De-clutter the house.
  2. Get my rear in gear.
  3. Journal every day.
  4. Find some focus. Although I’m hoping #1, 2 and 3 will lead to #4. We’ll see.

SIDE NOTE: I was looking through the web for pictures to go with this post. My first search was for “Legos AND mess”. I was suddenly feeling much better about my dining room table turned Lego table.

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.